WFP -Important Health Advice For Women

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

(submited by concerned friends Pat and Carol)

  • Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
  • Do you suffer from shyness?
  • Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about
Chardonnay.

Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself
and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell
the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything


You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately and with a regimen of
regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life
you want to live.


Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will:

Discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with
Chardonnay.


Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should
not use Chardonnay.

However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try
it.


Side effects may include: dizziness, nausea,vomiting,incarceration, erotic lustfulness,
loss of motor control,loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions
of grandeur,table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing
Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.


WARNINGS:

  • The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

  • The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


  • The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.

  • The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning
  • The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting
  • The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people



Now Just Imagine What You Could Achieve With a Good Dry Red!!!

7 comments:

Bentoist said...

LOL, I have very low alcohol capacity so all I need is a sip to do all that.

Teresa Cordero Cordell said...

I love this! All I drink is one glass of wine a day. But you wouldn't (or maybe you would) believe the difference it makes in my overall well being. It's great. Love you blog.

Valerie Harrison (bellini) said...

This started my day out with a chuckle...maybe even a loud guffaw:D

Denise Clarke said...

Thanks, I always figure ... one glass of wine a day is kind of like having a little puff of air up my dress ... lol!

Denise

Unknown said...

... as a part of the male community i felt obliged to tell you that Chardonnay has similar effects on us too !!
mind you, as for the desire to play strip poker, that seems to be an activity we were born with !

Denise Clarke said...

LOL!

Denise

Chef E said...

I love it! Sending to some friends...